Scans, forms and more drugs

I had an MRI at the hospital today, ordered by my oncologist. I also have a CT scan on Wednesday. I will be getting these every three months or so, to keep an eye on the two cancer tumours in my spine.

This time, I knew what to expect so wasn’t worried. The room was much warmer though, so I was too hot and wished I could take my cardigan off soon after starting the MRI. It was quieter than last time, too. I closed my eyes (the head mask and machine are both very close to your face, so it’s better not to see them), and thought about the book that I’m currently reading (the 5th in a huge and beautifully- written series called The Wheel of Time); made up a poem about a leaf that I saw the other day; and recited Psalm 23. It was difficult to concentrate with the loud clunking and whirring noises, but I was quite relaxed.

I am starting on two new treatments soon, which is another reason for the scans. One of them is a bone-strengthening medication and one is touted as a ‘wonder drug’, a targeted therapy called Palbocyclib, which has shown good outcomes in patient trials.

Hopefully, it will keep the tumours from growing too fast and keep me going for longer. The list of side effects is not encouraging, though. It can cause anything from low immunity, to osteoporosis to DVTs.

The bone-strengthener can itself cause severe jaw problems, teeth falling out, and all sorts of other horrors.

I had to sign two scary consent forms for these drugs. But, they are the best treatment known to medical science to keep me alive for as long as possible, so what choice do I have?

The fact that I am managing so much better than expected and than last time, on the two treatments that I am currently on, does give me some hope. Last time, the drug that I was on had a 1 in 10000 chance of getting some rather evil side effects: I got them.

I hate it when doctors tell me that there is a small chance of something (bad) happening. I usually get that thing.

Thank you to everyone who is praying for no side effects, just good outcomes (i.e., my cancers shrinking.) Please continue to pray for me and my family?

I was woken by some awful burning pain across my whole back the other morning. It went away after an hour and strong painkillers. I went cheerfully about my day, but thought later that I should let my cancer nurse know that I had a new symptom. She phoned me back sounding panicked, and saying that she didn’t want to scare me, but that burning pain was a red flag for metistatic spinal cord compression (the scariest thing to me besides death). It is a nerve, not a muscular pain. I didn’t even know that it was a symptom: it’s not on my warning cancer card that I carry everywhere.

She said the next time that I get it, I need to the 24 hour hospital cancer Triage Line, even if it’s 2am and I feel better soon afterwards. It counts as an emergency and they may send an ambulance for me.

This feels more real now. It could happen at any time: probably in the middle of the night or when it’s very inconvenient. I have to try to stay calm while being prepared for a possible emergency situation that may involve spinal surgery or paralysis, when I least expect it. Great. I have now packed a hospital bag, just in case.

Cancer truly is the gift that keeps on giving. 😐