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Faith, fiction and cancer stuff.


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Dear every cancer patient I ever took care of, I’m sorry. I didn’t get it.

Here Comes the Sun

rad

Dear every cancer patient I ever took care of, I’m sorry. I didn’t get it.

This thought has been weighing heavy on my heart since my diagnosis. I’ve worked in oncology nearly my entire adult life. I started rooming and scheduling patients, then worked as a nursing assistant through school, and finally as a nurse in both the inpatient and outpatient settings. I prided myself in connecting with my patients and helping them manage their cancer and everything that comes with it. I really thought I got it- I really thought I knew what it felt like to go through this journey. I didn’t.

I didn’t get what it felt like to actually hear the words. I’ve been in on countless diagnoses conversations and even had to give the news myself on plenty of occasions, but being the person the doctor is talking about is surreal. You were trying to…

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Life as a non-parent in a parent-centred world

A blog by my friend Milly.

Milly's Scribblings

There’s an article doing the rounds on Facebook called ‘Seven Things Women Without Children Want Moms to Know’. It’s a decent article, I’ve seen a few times in the past year, and I’d recommend any parent to read it to open their understanding of what it’s like for those of us who live without children.

I’m a non-parent, and after reading it, I felt I had a few things to add. These are just my perspectives and I don’t claim to speak for all non-parents.

Let me choose

Sometimes I want to be around children, sometimes I don’t. Let me choose, and let me change my mind.

In the ‘Seven Things.’ blog, one participant said:

“I’ve rarely been invited to dinner parties at homes with people with kids. Or to life festivities: confirmations, holiday celebrations, graduations, etc. I’d like to be invited. Please let me decide if I…

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Hello, Sunshine!

I love this poem.

The File Pile

I sigh,

From where I lie,

Chin held high,

While my eyes imbibe,

The flowing sky,

And all is right.

It’s an unusually bright,

Afternoon,

Already.

Leaves of grass,

Areweaved,

Underneath,

My back-

My hair and clothing,

Have dandelion seeds,

Clinging to them.

“The garden returns,

The flowers bloom, the weeds rise,

All from the sun’s rays.”

I sit up,

And feel the light,

Caress my face,

Hit my hair,

Warm my shoulders.

“Hello, Sunshine!

I’m glad you’ve stopped by,

Thanks for everything.”

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This is us

This is us.

Every race

Every language

Every age.

 

A multi-cultural

multi-faith

multi-generational place.

Some were born here,

Some far away.

Some want to go,

Some long to stay.

 

Boasting an elite degree

Or from the school of hard knocks.

Dressed in opera-finery

Or holey socks

We stand together

In this green country.

 

Hope, fear, anger, sorrow

Collide.

 

What happens next?

That’s down to what the politicians,

Businesses,

Media and

Ultimately what

We decide.

 

Will we let hatred run naked through the streets, high on fear?

Or kindness and love persevere?

 

I guess we’ll have to see.

 

So I ask you to stand

With me

Like brother

Like sister.

Not torn by differences

But together in unity.

 

Our United Kingdom.

 


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chop chop

I had my first post-chemo haircut last week. I thought it would be emotional, but it wasn’t. It was just a haircut. I did enjoy having my hair washed by someone else: so decadent.

I’ve never been the sort of person who feels at home in salons, and can confirm that little has changed. The hairdresser did do a good job, though, and I am happy with it. It’s nearly 7 months since I finished chemo, and I am chuffed with my new hair.

And because there are simply not enough pouting selfies on tinternet, here is another one for you. ☺

2016-03-13 16.21.58

New haircut.


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Onwards

I haven’t written a blog post in a while, mostly because normal life is tiring! It’s over a month now since radiotherapy finished, and I am enjoying being an ‘average’ human again.

I had a hospital appointment today and realised that I hadn’t been to my local hospital all year! Mad. Of course, I have earned many frequent flier miles at the Oxford one in 2016.

I was diagnosed soon after Easter last year, and the anniversary is fast approaching. We are going on a little family holiday soon, partly to celebrate the end of active treatment, and partly to treat the kids, who have not had an easy 12 months.

It’s my birthday next week. I have always loved birthdays, but I’ve never before been so happy about getting older. 😊 

A couple of weeks after I finished the rads, two nasty red lines appeared on my collarbone. I thought it looked bad, but actually I got off lightly. Radiotherapy can cause permanent skin damage, such as burns and painful welts. If you don’t believe me, do a Google image search. But not right after a meal.

I have been warned that I may get more skin damage in the next few months, but I think it’ll be fine.

The first photo is when my burns appeared, a couple of weeks post-radiation (21 Feb) . This is when I decided to pray specifically for my skin to heal. The next photo was taken two days later. The third is from today (16 days after the original photo.) It doesn’t hurt at all now.