The cancer has spread

A few weeks ago, my GP said that a recent stomach CT scan that I had showed some odd changes in my right lung: the scan just happened to pick up the bottom of my lungs. This was a suspected lymph node infection. Problems with lymph nodes are a red flag in cancer survivors (I had stage 3 breast cancer in 2015.)

I am grateful to a radiologist who noticed this and suggested that I be referred for a chest CT for a better look at my lungs.

The chest CT showed the small change in my right lung, but also cancer in my T3 vertebrae (between my shoulders) in my spine.

The change in my lung may be just the infection, or another cancerous site. The area is not really big enough to biopsy. The do not want to do a spinal biopsy, because they are dangerous and painful.

An MRI scan confirmed the cancer in my spine. I had a full body PET scan yesterday, which will show if I have any other cancer in my body and if there is an easier site to biopsy.

As the original cancer has now moved to my spine, this is called stage 4, or metastatic cancer. This is not a curable disease, but they can treat it, possibly for many years, if my body tolerates it and the treatment keeps working. I will have cancer for the rest of my life.

My oncologist warned me years ago that someone with my age at primary diagnosis (early 30s) and the type of cancer that I had, as well as its speed of growth meant that my life expectancy was below 50 years of age.

So this is not a shock to me.

I do not feel afraid to die.

I feel worried for my kids possibly losing a mum so young. There is a chance that I will live for many more years though.

I feel sad for Mike who is very disabled by long covid, and so cut off from friends and many of his old sources of support. He can’t just meet up with a friend for a drink or go for a day out, or even get to church. Many people have moved on and forgotten about him.

My cancer is not pressing on my spinal cord, so I am not in need of immediate treatment.

Update:

Most of my friends and family already know about this, but thought that I should put it on my blog too. I know that many people who I don’t personally know, have followed my blog since my initial primary diagnosis in 2015.

The PET scan revealed that I have cancer in two vertebrae: one in the T3, between my shoulder blades, that I already knew about; and the C7, which is in my neck. Thankfully, both are stable and there is no spread to other organs yet.

I start treatment soon and am very worried about it. The side effects can be absolutely awful, but I need to stick to it as long as I can. I would like to see my daughter reach 18, even attend her graduation from university ceremony one day, if I can dare to hope to live that long. And one of my life goals since I was a kid has always been to meet my grandchildren. That seems a little unrealistic at the moment.

Miracles happen though.