Manga

I drew some Manga doodles.

20170908_17594420170908_17592720170908_17590520170908_175838Manga boy green hair

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The clouds

Do you ever lie on your back
And look at the clouds?
I did that the other day and thought
about loss.
An anniversary that nobody wants to
celebrate.
But it’s still as real as any birth or wedding day.
A grainy scan photo tucked away
A reminder of the unhappy day.
A knowledge that something was
wrong.
A kind doctor who reminded me of
someone.
The loss of a lot of blood,
and then
A tiny rainbow in a sunny summer sky.
Finally, saying goodbye.
Wondering who you would be
And whether you would look like
me.
I lie on my back sometimes,
And look at the clouds.

Inbetweeny

I haven’t written a blog post in ages, so I think it’s time for one.

Many of my blogs have been about trusting God in the really difficult times, or being thankful for the good things.

I don’t remember having written many inbetweeny posts. For those without access to a dictionary, inbetweeny is where things aren’t great and things aren’t horrendous. They are just inbetweeny. I guess that for most of us, with the notable exception of Calamity James, a large percentage of us spend most of our lives in this zone.

So, you may not know that I have been some some health problems for the last few months. I do not believe that they are in any way related to my cancer history, but it has still been unpleasant and draining.

Recently I had some investigations, which included biopsies. The nurse said that one of them was not routine. When you hear those words, some small alarm bells are set off.

I want to say that I am not anxious about this, at least 99% of the time. Having cancer has taught me to give over all this sort of stuff to God, and sharpish. I have learned that I can trust him, no matter how bleak the circumstances. So the last thing that I need to hear from anyone is ‘Be anxious for nothing.’ Thanks dude, but I learned that one the hard way and I don’t need your well-intentioned judging.

That said, show me someone who says that they never get worried about anything, and I’ll show you a liar.

And that’s what I mean by inbetweeny, because of course that’s normal. And it’s in the normal, the job stuff and health concerns and fun weekends and family times and business of life that we really need to learn to put God first. There aren’t many athiests on a lifeboat, and most of us are happy to thank God when life is awesome, but those times are just the bookends.

There are a whole lot of unreported stories, times that we may not photograph or share on Facebook, where we still, as Christians, need to learn to put God first. I’m good at trusting him with the big things, but I need to hand over all the small stuff to him too.

So that’s where I am at the moment: inbetweeny and learning to trust God with the everyday. And whenever I make the effort to focus on him, there he is with me, just like when I woke up after my operation nearly two years ago. Right in the room with us, where he always is even if we don’t notice.

 

 

World cancer Day

What does World cancer day mean to me?
Today is world cancer day, and I’ve been thinking about why the day
is important to me.
There are three things:
1) A chance to raise awareness.
A great thing about WCD is that is raises awareness of this disease.
Yes, people have heard of cancer, but do they know what to look
out for in their own bodies? Every cancer has different symptoms, but
if it encourages one person to stop ignoring that little lump in
their breast, or blood in their stools, or stomach pain that won’t go
away; if they get the kick up the bum to make an appointment with
their GP, which means that their cancer is caught early and can
be treated, then it’s worth it.
2) A chance to raise funds for vital cancer charities.
Cancer Research UK, Breast Cancer Care, and Macmillan are all
charities that I, along with many others, have benefitted from.
More research into prevention and treatments, more support
for those affected by cancer, and more political lobbying is needed.
3) For those who have lost loved ones to the disease,
a chance to remember them.
For those who currently have cancer; for those who will lose their lives
to it; or those who have lost health and time and joy to it, a chance
to reflect and be recognised. A chance to stand with others
and not feel alone.
A chance to unite.
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The night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house

No laptop was whirring, nor a computer mouse.

The children were tucked up in their warm cosy beds

While dreams of tablets and scooters danced round their heads.

Mum and Dad watched a box set, on sofa sat

with hot chocolate, popcorn and Toby the cat.

 

A glass of milk and ginger biscuits on a plate

For a special guest on coffee table did wait.

“Let’s go to bed,” Mum said yawning, “it’s getting late.”

“Soon a visitor will be opening the gate.”

“Yes,” agreed Dad, “I have wrapped all of our gifts,

I’m glad my boss hasn’t got me working night shift.”

 

When the family were finally fast asleep,

In the garden landed reindeer without a peep.

And out from the sleigh that they magically lead,

stepped Father Christmas, dressed in white and red.

“Reindeer, wait here. I have some gifts to deliver.”

“I’ll be back soon. I see the snow makes you shiver.”

Then the jolly old man took out his magic key

and unlocked the front door slowly and quietly.

 

He was just putting our presents under the tree

When he looked up with a smile and spotted me!

I had heard a noise and crept slowly down the stair

And could hardly believe who I saw standing there.

 

“Sorry!” I gasped. “I didn’t know you were real.”

“I am!” He chuckled. “Will you join me in my meal?”

So we sat on the sofa and enjoyed our snack

While Toby purred happily on Santa’s lap.

“What’s it like, travelling round the world,” I asked

“each Christmas eve, it must be a difficult task?”

“I love seeing all of the countries,” he replied,

like Poland, Botswana, Japan and Paraguay.

People live in interesting homes, that’s for sure,

In tents, wooden huts, caves and on the sea shore.

All children are unique in such different ways

But with a love of toys and play, they’re all the same.”

 

I ate my crunchy biscuit and answered “Say,

I’ve never thought of it before in that way.

The other children might not look or talk like me,

But we all need fun, and the love of our family.”

 

 

“I must be going,” he said, “I have elf-made toys

To deliver to many little girls and boys.”

 

I looked out of the window to see the sleigh

With reindeers and Father Christmas, flying away.

I heard his happy call as he flew out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

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