Sometimes life is just too busy. Now that things are going back to ‘normal’ (although,  in many ways it is never going to be the same again); I have realised just how little time I have to myself. When do I ever get to spend some quiet time away from work, family, chores etc? Not often is the answer.

My poor brain  is struggling a  bit with no longer being a cancer patient and is taking time to adjust. I love being healthy-ish, sociable, able to go out with the kids sans germ fear, but. Who am I? Who is Alex again? I seem to have forgotten.

Many people probably think that everything is fine now. I am over that blip, let’s move on with cheesy smiles. But although I probably look OK (if older), sometimes I am not.  The medication that I will be on for the next few years has some nasty side-effects. All is not well.

I decided to have some much-longed for alone time today. I went for a walk to a local beauty spot. I didn’t need to talk to anyone or worry about the kids. I could listen to the birdsong and enjoy the feel of sunshine (and later,  rain) on my face. It was a beautiful spring morning and much better than staying inside.

I found a sheltered spot near the water’s edge. No-one else was around and I could watch the herons and ducks and listen to the lambs in the nearby field.

I felt so one with nature that I considered taking off my socks and trainers and jumping into the muddy stream, but I couldn’t see the bottom and would then have had to walk home muddy and freezing cold. Maybe  next time.

I am not brave enough to buy a cheap tent, and disappear into the wilderness for a few days, but that does appeal.

When I left my hide, I disturbed some bird-watchers in their natural habitat. They seemed startled to find a female of the species, but managed not to take flight.

It started raining gently, but I loved it. It was just what I needed.

2016-04-09 15.52.592016-04-09 15.51.58



Author: Alex

I work in a college library, and love reading, writing and drawing. I am a breast cancer survivor.

One thought on “Outside”

  1. Hi Alex. I always enjoy your blog. These photos are lovely.. I think you should try and get more times like these while you try and figure out what ‘normal’ is now… it must be very weird. I hope you are being gentle with yourself and I pray you have a lovely summer x x Pam

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