Cat with attitude

I’m a cat with attitude
And I ain’t gunna give you no platitudes.
So I tell you what you’re gunna do:
Stay sat, just like that
And listen to what I have to say to you.
If I smell a rat on you
Then I’ll do what I have to do:
Freaking eat that rat
‘Cos that’s what cats do.
I don’t care if that don’t appeal to you
Or if I ain’t the ideal pet for you.

I’m a cat that’s fat. So.
What you gunna do about that? So.

I eat chocolate cake,
Tuna pasta bake,
Chips with steak,
Cornetto and flake,
Whatever it takes
To make my belly shake
When I move,
Like a mini earthquake.

Don’t you dare judge me.
You skinny human scum
With your tiny pink bum
And your soy chai tea.
I ain’t you and you ain’t me.
So you eat your flipping leaves
And leave me to my full-fat ice-cream.

I’m a cat that’s fat. So.
What you gunna do about that? So.bad cat

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Author: Alex

I work in a college library, and love reading and writing. I write short stories, poetry, blogs and children's stories. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2015.

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